Dear C.J.: Advice for Acceptance

Celine Figueroa and Joel Santoyo (C.J.), Poetry, Comics, & Advice Column Editors

Dear C.J.,

For a while i’ve been trying to come out to my mom, but it’s obviously easier said than done. Usually I wouldn’t have a problem in telling others I’m pansexual and proud to be in the LGBTQ+ community, but my mom is a different case. My mom is homophobic, no matter how much I tell her, she’ll deny it. It’s clear she doesn’t entirely accept people like myself. I want to tell her, but I don’t know how to approach the situation. So how should I tell her? Or should I tell her at all ?




Dear Uncertain,


In my opinion, first ask your mom questions about how she feels about pansexuals. Then, if you’re bold tell your mom how you feel and say you are pansexual. Don’t hide your sexuality–if anything, accept yourself for who you are. If you’re not ready yet, you might want to give her hints. Sadly, your mother’s response may be disappointment, shame, anger, or rejection, considering she is homophobic. Know that first reactions are not always lasting reactions. You are not alone and will get through this. Your sexuality is accepted and there is nothing wrong about being who you want to be. Your mother will need time to process what you have told her, but you should be true to yourself and you should be proud of being who you are. Therefore, be prepared to give your mom some time. Based on your situation it will be difficult for her to accept you for who you are, so you might want to wait until you are old enough to make your own decisions just in case you have to start your own life.  Overall, consider the fact that you are still a young adult and you have a whole life ahead of you. I hope you are holding up good and thank you for reaching out.